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Prose and Kaa

Snakely Scribblings

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Name:
That Snake Guy
Website:
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If you friend me, chances are I'll friend you back, after I make sure you're not a robot or a spammer. And if I friend you, I honestly will not take it as an insult if you don't friend me back. Really.

Disclaimer: I do not in any way speak for my employer in an official or unofficial capacity. Any and all opinions appearing here are solely my own and in no way reflect on my employer, its subsidiaries, customers, products, services, or coworkers.

     



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Favorite Physics Joke

Poor Heisenberg. He knew precisely how fast his car keys were traveling.

Favorite Quotes

If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it can't be understood. It just means you don't understand it.


Cast of characters:

Kaa. a.k.a. me. Him what owns the journal. Kaasirpent. The Serpent. Snakey-dude. On TIM, it's, "Snake! BIG snake! Coiled. Darting tongue. Blinkless. HAS eyebrows, so get over it. From that book by that guy. You know, the one with the snake. Yeah. He's wearing a cute little white turban on his head."

Skippy the Skeptic. First made an appearance on October 7, 2004 when I reviewed a new TV show. He didn't get his name until November 11, 2004. I still hate you for 'Skippy,' by the way.

Bradford the Brat. First made his appearance on January 28, 2004, but just as a humorous comment made in passing to someone else. He got serious treatment by September 23, 2004, but didn't get his name until January 14, 2005. WANNA 'NOTHER COOKIE!

Preston the Procrastinator. First mentioned on January 14, 2005 in the same post where Bradford got named. Called him my inner slob, at the time. He's a tad belligerent and just wants to be left alone. Thus, it wasn't until May 6, 2005 that he was dubbed "Preston." And you will pay. Oh, yes, you will.

Jürgen the Grammar Nazi. First started to form on January 26, 2007 (although some would argue he was there long before that). Fully introduced and named on February 7, 2007. You have a number of egregious grammatical errors on this page. My work is definitely cut out for me.

Explanation of some of the more esoteric interests


I. Love. Words. And language. I could spend hours each day browsing through dictionaries. And have done so, actually. When I find a really cool word that is, perhaps, a little strange, it gives me the same kind of thrill that an archeologist would get when discovering a buried bone. That said...

anthimeria - the using of one part of speech for another, such as: "Verbing weirds language" [Bill Watterson]

antimetabole - "Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." -- Carl Sagan (the repetition of words in successive clauses, but in transposed grammatical order.)

apophenia - the spontaneous perception of connections and meaningfulness in unrelated things; seeing patterns where none, in fact, exist. Such as: "Bad luck comes in threes," or "More babies are born during full moons."

apophthegm - A saying or a quotation that is witty and concise, such as "Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower."

Cruithne - Earth's "second moon." Fascinating stuff. You should Google it. :)

entelechy - An actuality; a conception completely actualized, in distinction from mere potential existence.

oxymora - (plural of oxymoron) rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence.

pareidolia - a type of illusion or misperception involving a vague or obscure stimulus being perceived as something clear and distinct, such as the man in the moon or the face of Jesus in a burnt tortilla.

perenidnation - putting things off until the day after tomorrow, or perhaps indefinitely. Stronger than mere procrastination.

pleonasms - the use of more words than are required to express an idea; redundancy.

tautology - needless repetition of an idea, statement, or word, such as "adequate enough" or "and et cetera."

tmesis - separating the parts of a compound word, often for humorous reasons, such as "abso-bloody-lutely."


But Who Am I, Really?


First things first: I am an atheist. If you are unable to deal with that, then please go.

Next: I am a card-carrying skeptic. This means that if you want to convince me of something, you're going to have to show me evidence. Hint: "My brother's girlfriend's hairdresser saw it!" is not evidence; that is hearsay. It is also an anecdote. I suggest you look up the difference. I do not believe in: Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, the Yeti, ghosts, demons, Satan, devils, angels, leprechauns, fauns, satyrs, fairies, ESP, dowsing, alien abduction, Intelligent Design, past-life regression, reincarnation, hypnosis, chiropractic, homeopathy, tarot, psychics, out-of-body experiences, homeopathy (it bears repeating), iridology, reflexology, ear candling, naturopathy, heaven, hell, psychic healing, the power of prayer, gods, God, demigods, virgin births, astrology, Jesus, any conspiracy theory, zombies, vampires, werewolves, witchcraft, magic, etc. Because there is no evidence for any of it. In fact, for a good bit of it to be true, all of physics, chemistry, and biology would have to be untrue.

To that list you can also provisionally add time travel, faster than light travel, cold fusion, and other scientific concepts that for now are simply not allowed given everything we know, but for which I sincerely hope I'm wrong. :)

What I do "believe" in: Evolution, science, the Big Bang theory, gravity, chemistry, physics, biology, the germ theory of disease, quantum physics, relativity, black holes, dark matter, dark energy, the expansion of the universe, that the universe is approximately 13.7 +/- .2 billion years old, that our sun is about 5 billion years old and our planet is right at 4.5 billion years old, that the moon formed from debris thrown off after a collision of earth with another object the size of Mars (ish), that dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago, global climate change, that 9/11 was a terrorist attack, The United States put 12 people on the surface of our moon, Barack Obama was born in Hawaii and is not a Muslim (even though what FUCKING difference it would make if he were is beyond me; he'd still be worshiping a nonexistent entity), vaccines do not cause autism, and any number of other things for which there is a mountain of solid, scientific evidence to back it up. In other words, I don't "believe" in it; I accept the scientific consensus/cold, hard facts.

If you can't handle that, then please go.

That being said, welcome to my journal. :) I promise I'm not that harsh all the time. I just get tired of having to explain things over and over, y'know? And I honestly don't care if we disagree on any of that up there as long as you don't. I'm telling you about me. If you are a Wiccan Truther with an alien abduction story, as long as you and I can agree to disagree, then pull up a chair, put your feet up, and have a nice, tall glass of lemonade! I would, in fact, love to hear your alien abduction story.

My real name is Gary Henderson, I am approximately 48 years old, and among other things, I am an as-yet-unpublished speculative fiction writer living in the Atlanta, Georgia area. My day job is computer programming for a major healthcare company. I repeat what I said above: I do not in any way speak for my employer in an official or unofficial capacity. Any and all opinions appearing here are solely my own and in no way reflect on my employer, its subsidiaries, customers, products, services, or coworkers. I have over twenty years of experience wrangling computer code. And no, I will not fix your computer. (See? I do have a sense of humor.)

In my spare time, I go to writers' critique groups, write, obey my cat's every command, and occasionally indulge in Dungeons and Dragons with my friends.

I play Second Life. I am Sathor Chatnoir there. Look me up.

[Note to administrators: I have backdated an entry as my first chronological post and set it private. In the entry is all my personal contact information, should there ever be a dire emergency for which the police need to be contacted.]




All original content in this journal is © 2003-2013 Gary Henderson.

Without my express written consent, none of the original content in this journal should be duplicated to be shared elsewhere.

     

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