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There's a movement underway here in Atlanta to change our designation from The Big Peach to The Seattle of the South.

OK, not really, but there should be.

What really has me irked is Atlanta drivers. I know, I know . . . I've lived here for 14 years, now. You'd think I'd be used to them by this point. And I am. But being used to something doesn't mean you have to like it.

It basically goes like this, here. Maybe other places, too, but definitely here.

Weather: Sunny & hot

Drivers: Woohoo! 85 on I-85! 85 on I-285! 85 on I-20! Wooooooohoooooooooo! I don't actually mind this; I'm the guy in the right lane going the speed limit, leaving a gap to let people in, and making rude gestures where other drivers can't see them. So people can do whatever the hell they want.



Weather: Ice and or snow

Drivers: Woohoo! 85 on I-85! 85 on I-285! 85 on I-20! Wooooooohoooooooooo!



Weather: Wet. Or damp. Or slightly overcast. Or a bird flew over.

Drivers: PRECIPI . . . PRECIP . . . WET THING FALL FROM SKY! NO CAN GO FAST! GO 20! PEDAL ON RIGHT NO WORK. PEDAL ON LEFT GOOD! WAIT. LANE NO FAST! GO OTHER LANE. LANE NO FAST! GO BACK OTHER LANE! CAR EIGHT CAR FRONT PRESS BRAKE! SLAM ON BRAKE! SEE BLUE LIGHT WAY OFF! SLAM ON BRAKE! WRECK ON OTHER SIDE OF INTER . . . INTER . . . ROAD. STOP! IS BLOOD ON ROAD? CAR CRUNCH? OOOOOH. PRETTY CAR CRUNCH. PREEEEETTYYYYYY . . .


It is something I suspect I will never quite grok, no matter how long I live here. I live about 21 miles from work. On most days it takes me 26 to 34 minutes to get to work. On days where WET STUFF FALL FROM SKY, that goes to as much as an hour and a half, as it was today. Why? WET STUFF FALL FROM SKY.

There are days when 35 miles per hour would make me nearly wet my pants in glee. But I wouldn't. Because that would be WET STUFF FALL FROM . . . PANTS.


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