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Why Can't Anything Just Be Easy?

Honestly, this is why I hate planning things.

Back when the Greater Atlanta Metropolitan Area was in the midst of a years-long drought, we were told not to water our lawns. I was the only person in my neighborhood who actually complied with that rule. As a result, all of my grass died, and what's on my front lawn is moss and weeds. Some tree roots are partially exposed. It looks awful, but hey. I'm not one of those people that has to have a golf-green lawn with all the grass the same height to 1/16".

I finally decided to do something about it because the top soil has begun to erode. I have a landscaper coming to lay some topsoil down, re-sod, and while he's at it, re-edge my flower beds with stone/brick and not the awful black plastic crap that's there, now, and to raise two of my sloping flower beds to level1, and wall them up with stone.2 Oh, and trim my trees so the sunlight can actually get to the new sod. Turns out plants need light. Who knew? :)

It should look so much better when done.3 He sent me an estimate, I approved, and he said he'd put it on the schedule. Yay.

Then, a couple of Fridays back, I came home from work to find that someone had strung 100 feet or more of DayGlo orange cable from one cable junction box (the one near my driveway) to another one (down the street). One of the distinguishing features of my subdivision when I moved in was that there had been cable lying across yards and in the street for years, according to the people I bought the house from. So, I didn't think anything of it.

Last Friday, I came home to find that someone had painted bright orange paint on my weeds in the front lawn. Presumably, it was Charter's doing, and they were going to bury that cable. Well, yay. Again, I didn't think anything of it, because I didn't know when my landscapers were going to start.

Today, I walked out to head to work and there was a small stack of three different kinds of landscaping brick4 on the driveway next to my garage door. Presumably for me to select among.5

I'm not an idiot. I know how the universe works. Inevitably, the landscapers will lay down my new sod and finish the rest, then—without any warning, because I'm not the customer who requested the cable run—they'll dig a trench through my new grass and mess up my yard to bury the cable. On top of that, when my landscaper replaces my weeds and moss with real grass, those painted lines will go away, so they'll have to paint it again and then wait longer, giving my new grass just time to get all rooted and settled in and happy. Before they dig it up.

Don't look at me like that. You know as well as I do that I'm right.

So . . . I called Charter Communications, hoping to get a date.

Stop laughing. It could have happened.6

Since I'm not the customer whose work order it is, they couldn't tell me anything concrete. She said that for 'bury jobs,'7 they have a month. Since the lines appeared last week, that means probably the end of April at the earliest.

<heavy, heavy sigh>

Planning. It's useless. The only thing I accomplished with the phone call to Charter (I was a lot nicer than I could have been, let me tell you) was to get her to add my phone number to the notification list on the work order so at least I'll know when they're going to dig up my lawn. Of course, this is Charter Communications. They'll probably call me after the back-hoe has already started the trench.8

I sent email to the landscaper asking him when he intended to start. Let's see if I can put him off until after they dig up my lawn to put down the cable.

Next time you wonder why I procrastinate, think of this.


  1. My front lawn is level to maybe 10 feet beyond my house's foundation, then it slopes rather precipitously down to the street. I'm guessing maybe . . . it's not quite a 45-degree angle, but I've never gone out there with a protractor to measure it.
  2. The flower beds—I have five sweet gum trees, several camellias, and some flowering bulb-things (I didn't plant them) in one, and a birch tree with what I think is crepe myrtle around it in the other—slope like the lawn. So they simply won't hold mulch for long. I want them level so they will. But to do that, he'll have to raise the front ends up to be the same height as the rear. That will take dirt and some sort of stone for the "retaining wall."
  3. I fully intend to take before/after pictures.
  4. A 'red' one, a 'concrete block' one, and a 'concrete block that's been dyed slightly brown' one. Don't ask me colors. :)
  5. I must have been in the shower when he brought them by because they weren't there at 7:30 when I took the cats to the vet.
  6. In what universe, I don't know, but it could have happened . . .
  7. I wonder if the guys doing it will have middle names of 'The'? You know, Vinny The Knife, Luigi The Undertaker, that kind of thing.
  8. I'm sure they don't use a back-hoe, but it's what I'm picturing, so I thought I'd go with it.


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Comments

( 7 hisses — Hiss at me! )
thespian
Apr. 2nd, 2012 04:36 pm (UTC)
are they actually allowed to change and damage your property without telling you? even the spray paint seems out of line to me.
kaasirpent
Apr. 2nd, 2012 04:38 pm (UTC)
Apparently, because at no point did anyone ask me anything. I just came home to find paint on the grass. Well, the weeds.
(Deleted comment)
kiteflier98
Apr. 9th, 2012 03:07 am (UTC)
Okay, I can't resist asking. What if the snow melts?
ozma914
Apr. 3rd, 2012 08:17 am (UTC)
Yup ... an all too familiar story.
trilobits
Apr. 4th, 2012 08:26 am (UTC)
This is all shockingly close to our situation
kiteflier98
Apr. 9th, 2012 03:10 am (UTC)
Good luck.
( 7 hisses — Hiss at me! )

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