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Stuck Song Report

As far as I'm concerned, the song "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People is one of the most annoying that I've heard in recent months. It reminds me of "This Is the Song that Never Ends" because of the annoyingly repetitive, unchanging chorus: "All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my gun/bullet" [repeat 47,000,003 times]. (Note: I have no idea whatsoever what the rest of the lyrics are saying because he cannot or does not enunciate, and I do not care. If he can't sing in such a way that he sounds like he's actually singing in English, then I have no use for him.)

The problem this has caused in my brain is that it has lodged firmly after hearing it played on Friday at the Chinese (yeah, I know, I don't get it, either) restaurant where I had lunch.

When songs I loathe get stuck in my head, my overactive pattern matcher goes into hyperspeed and starts to connect other songs in medleys to try to get rid of the annoying one.

In this case, it has backfired, making me start to doubt my sanity.

This is an approximation of what is playing, over and over and over, in my head right now:

All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my gun.
     Come ride the little train that is rolling down the tracks to the junction.1
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my bullets.
     Forget about your cares, it is time to relax at the junction.
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my gun.
     Lots of curves, you bet; even more when you get to the junction.
     Petticoat Junction.
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my bullets.
     There's a little hotel called the Shady Rest at the junction
     (Petticoat Junction).
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my gun.
     It is run by Kate, come and be her guest at the junction
     (Petticoat Junction).
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks better run, run, run, run from my bullets.
     And that's uncle Joe, he's a-movin' kinda slow at the junction.
     Petticoooooat Junction!
     Whooooo, Whooooooooooooooo! (<---- train sound)
Repetto ad nauseam. And when I say 'ad nauseam' I mean that I woke up with this and it has been playing on pretty much constant loop for the last 6 or so hours. I think you'd be a little nauseam after that, too.

What it actually sounds like in my head is more like this: "Come and ride the little train with the pumped up kicks at the junction. Petticoat Junction. There's a little hotel with the pumped up kicks better run run run, run from the junction..."

Haaaaate. Theeeee. Soooooooong. Waaaaaaant. It. To. Goooooooo. Awaaaaaaaay.2


  1. For those of you who don't know, Petticoat Junction was a TV show from the 60s (1963 - 1970). Oh, the wacky hijinks.
  2. And by this, I do not mean "out of my head," I mean I want every copy of the song in existance found and destroyed irrevocably. Further, I want the band to be ordered by a court of law never to perform it ever again. Ever.


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