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Vacation: Days 3 and 4

Boy, howdy, I really know how to milk a vacation for all it's worth. Lemme 'splain.

I mentioned yesterday that I had been to the doctor and gotten a prescription for diverticulitis. That was Monday. The pain was worse Tuesday, and even worse yesterday. So...you guessed it, as soon as I got up, I pulled on my sweats and without even taking a shower, I went back to the doctor. I saw a different doctor, had to go through all the symptoms again, assuring her that it really, really, truly, for sure, 100% is very much not a kidney stone. I've had those and I've had diverticulitis. I can tell the difference. They drew blood. Not sure why.

After about an hour, there, I finally got a prescription for three more days of the Cipro the first doctor gave me (she gave me 7 days, not 10 as is normal), and Metronidazole, which is a generic for Flagyll. Both are super-powerful antibiotics used when the infection is in the abdominal/intestinal area. I told the guy at CVS I'd pick up the drugs at 1 PM.

Why am I telling you this? Because it actually is important. Bear with me.

I had a tasty lunch of stir-fried ham with celery, onions, and spinach. Seriously tasty. Then I went back to pick up my prescriptions. When I drove up, I knew there was a problem. The guy said, "You had three prescriptions, right?"

"Uh, no. Two."

"Hmm. I show one for Glimepiride, one for Metronidazole, and one for One-Touch testing strips." Just to be clear, I had given them two prescriptions, neither of them for Glimepiride (a medicine I used to take but no longer do) or testing strips (I have an adequate supply).

"I'm coming inside."

So I hobbled in bent at a jaunty 30° angle, and carefully, due to the abdominal pain. Still dressed in my ratty sweats and with no shower, because I hadn't intended to go out in public. But whatever.

We finally got the prescription SNAFU straightened out. What happened was that because I had just gotten another prescription for Cipro filled two days before, they assumed (remember that 'ass u me' thing?) that it was the same prescription and didn't bother filling it. I corrected them, explained the situation...and then found out that the insurance company wouldn't pay for it because...that's right! Two prescriptions for the same drug in as many days flags something and they simply won't cover it unless blah de blah de blah. I didn't have the time for all that, so I just paid and left. I'll deal with Caremark later. The pharmacist started explaining the process of resubmission of a claim, and I interrupted with, "I work for a company that handles that kind of stuff. I wrote a good bit of the code, so I know how it works." I smiled to let her know I wasn't just being a jerk. I also used the actual name of my company, which she recognized instantly. I left. Carefully, due to the abdominal pain.

Also on the agenda for yesterday was the delivery of my new Droidx phone. I knew this because I got email from TrackThis saying "Out for delivery." So I knew that at some point during the day, the UPS guy would come to the house.

In the past, UPS and I have had...disagreements. Over little things. Like not bothering to knock and just putting a post-it on the door saying no one was home when someone (i.e., me) very much was. Or tossing boxes into the squelchy mud to the right of my door. (This was done ostensibly to prevent the package from being visible from the road, but I digress.) Or refusing to leave packages even when I demanded to do so because they were deemed "expensive" and the driver wanted to cover his ass. I wasn't sure if I had to sign for the (expensive?) phone or not, so I decided to make damned good and sure that he knew someone was home and that he would not get the chance to make me drive down to the UPS depot to pick up my merchandise. (This happens to me a lot.)

I parked my car in the driveway facing out. I left my garage door up. I unlocked and left the keys hanging (on the inside) in the knob of the front door for easy access (it requires keys to open it from either side). I left lights on. I made sure loud music was playing. I even opened the blinds to the right of my door so I could see from The Chair *evil chord* if someone approached the door. I listened carefully for telltale sounds of trucks approaching. It didn't help that school buses sound a lot like UPS trucks. It also didn't help that yesterday was trash-pickup day in the neighborhood, and that garbage trucks also sound a lot like UPS trucks. I popped up (carefully, due to the abdominal pain) every few minutes only to be disappointed.

At last, I heard a truck and lo! it was brown. And it stopped in front of my house. And a man got out! And he was carrying a large box! And I scared the crap out of him when I yanked open the door as he approached and reached out for the box like a starving man reaching for a Big Mac. (Incidentally, he was not going to knock. He was already bending to put the box into the squelchy mud when I yanked the door open.)

In retrospect, it probably was very...different...for him. :)

I tore into the box and quickly got my new phone working.

Flash forward about four hours...and a lot of phone-play. :)

It was dark, I had just had dinner (tuna salad with celery, pickles, and radishes, and field peas on the side). I thought, "Oh, right. I left my car parked in the driveway. I should go move that into the garage."

So I hobbled outside (carefully, due to the abdominal pain) and saw that, at some point over the last four hours, it had rained.

I remarked, out loud, "Oh, it must have rai—"

Why did I not finish the thought?

Because I took one...maybe two steps at most out onto what I thought was the wet cement of my driveway only to find out the hard (get it? hard? cement? I SLAY ME!) way that it was not wet but icy.

My right foot shot out from under me like a greased piglet. I tried to catch myself...with my left foot. Which also shot out from under me like...another greased piglet.

In short, I hit the ground. Hard. And then, because of the aforementioned ice, slid a few feet down the gentle slope of my driveway toward my car. I managed to stop the slide and then, because I couldn't get my feet or hands under me (ice is surprisingly slick), rolled and crawled on my belly (remember that abdominal pain I mentioned a time or two?) back up the icy driveway to my garage. I rolled over on my back and lay on the nice, rough (very cold) surface of my garage floor for a few minutes trying to decide if the pain in my left knee and right hand and wrist were anything permanent or just temporary. Unfortunately, I was so cold that it was hard to tell.

Amusingly, as I lay there in the garage, moaning, the first thing that occurred to me was, "I'm so glad I didn't have my new phone with me. I might have broken it."

I slowly got to my feet and hobbled (carefully, due to the knee pain) back inside, where I flumped myself down in The Chair *evil chord* and assessed my damage.

By the time I went to bed about three hours later (after an aspirin or two and a hot shower), I had started to stiffen up. And the abdominal pain, which had mysteriously subsided while I was struggling to crawl up an icy driveway, was back in force.

Today, when I woke up, it was supremely hard to get out of bed. I'm not at all bruised, which is a shock. But every joint from my knees to my neck hurts. You know that old man character that Tim Conway used to do on The Carol Burnett Show? Yeah. That's me, today. Minus the hair.

Going up and down stairs is especially fun. Even sitting in The Chair *evil chord* as I am, now, my left knee is throbbing. My wrists are both a little painful, as is my lower back and my neck.

My abdominal pain is better, though. Must be the Metronidazole and Cipro.

Today, dammit, I'm staying in the house. You don't have to hit me over the head but four or five times with a brick before I learn to be careful.

In retrospect, I think I should have worked this week. I would have been safer.

 Mr. Deity and the Barbecue by mrdeity.com from Mr. Deity (Rating: 0)


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Comments

( 3 hisses — Hiss at me! )
liddle_oldman
Dec. 16th, 2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
I have to say, that is a sincere amount of suck for one week!

Did you inadvertently order the Pain Assortment with your phone, perhaps?
kaasirpent
Dec. 16th, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC)
I must have.
bramblekite
Dec. 17th, 2010 12:18 am (UTC)
Yuck.

But I'm glad to hear that at least the tummy pain is going away. Rest up & enjoy your new toy. I was trying very hard not to laugh out loud at work as I read 'damn you auto correct' this afternoon...had 10 min at the end of the day when I wasn't wanting to start anything new but couldn't leave yet.

*Hugs*
( 3 hisses — Hiss at me! )

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