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I Simply Had to Share

While I was typing that last post, Semagic (the client I use for LJ posts) was going nuts. Words were appearing out of nowhere. As I got more frustrated, it got worse. I was picturing a horrible virus on my computer and some 13-year-old kid with audible pimples and a zombie net of several hundred computers using my new computer *geeky chord* as a tool to send out his nefarious spam.

Then I realized that I had inadvertently turned on the voice-recognition software and it was attempting to translate the sounds it was hearing into English text. The sounds of me typing, the chair squeaking, me mumbling, and...*ahem* singing along with my mindtrack.

Once I realized what was going on, I decided to see if it had remembered all that training I put it through back in August. As its mistakes got worse and worse, I got more and more tickled. Finally, I was laughing hysterically, unable to stop, barely able to breathe, and with each new hilarious transcription of my laughter as some English phrase, I laughed all the harder. I finally had to leave the room to calm down. Hereinafter is an exact transcription of me attempting to get the computer to type "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party." And then cursing at its incompetence...and then dissolving into hopeless laughter for most of 10 minutes. Enjoy.

NATO and the time for holding than to come to the aid of their party admittance to the fact that all have the time now to time now. The time and now, he isn't the kind of it as a dns in this ... IDs has enhanced followed your condition at you, thank you do and what you get out the kid in a row of data that the setup at the thought that are at the same time, but rather the setup at the site at that time, but at the hhow does a better grasp of asp the suspect that the back of the [about this a can identify the type of thing to do not have an attempt at a time and at , the president of the fact I decided I'd say the attacks and the sentences but it has been said and at the hospital at the site of the bride's and a half-life, and at the end of act up, but the intent of the tactic , the end of the the content of the top of them, and if the data for and what about the specifics of the cotton to the state of the Cincinnati citizen, the own it and newest at an act as a set of them have dumped on the other side effects of data on the time, the less of them up or shut up and down , citizens of the Internet and Clinton , the seventh of the own citizen or conduct the set of what happened if the up and fact it a ten minute whole , a table at a rate of passion to the front, the Clinton plan , half a dozen , and of the side of this and the guys in the open for them for a few of the citizen that the that it at the fact the citizen Clinton picked the zone, but that an FA decked out about the impact of the sock , that's a button but had bottomed out and not the same thing , it can to mitigate the low, and that an endowment that I'm for alternate and the data, the data what a lot of the button at a time , the life of a button, a, a a a a dns this setup of the site of the same time and conduct of the vote of the content and the data, but conduct outside of the button, the conduct of the end of it and what of data, fact that a lesson that a ten-by to brighten the sentences in Cincinnati, at the end of the bed and the own daughter, the consent of the the lesson , can sit here from it and the data that you need any , the lips, and a nine to six and went went with it and a lot , fax us at the end of the fact that he said that it can't have it, and Feinstein the clicks of the site at the time to time,@@@@@@@, set up the pace at the bottom of the car, and the Brandon the data, and an fact, it said he'd forgotten that act, and it has the leading , to an end to it and it hasn't done and ten , the long and the hall at The key would be at six and get a ticket
I mean, seriously. "Feinstein"? What the hell? :) I haven't laughed this hard in months. I got an abdominal cramp.

I think we see how spammers generate those random emails, now. They just hook up a voice recognition package and then watch The Three Stooges.1 It interprets their laughter and the result is 95% of what you get in your inbox.

As a side note, it seems rather infatuated with Clinton and Cincinnati, does it not?
  1. I presume, here, that all spammers possess a Y chromosome and are in that percentage of said Y-chromosome-possessors that does not include me who finds The Three Stooges the least bit amusing. YMMV.


Atheists Are People, Too  Antispam  


( 7 hisses — Hiss at me! )
Nov. 19th, 2007 01:11 pm (UTC)
Now THAT is what you need to submit for NANOWRIMO! =)

That is absolutely hilarious ... I cant read more than a line or two without choking with laughter!!! That's some "intelligent" program you have there!
Nov. 19th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
As a side note, it seems rather infatuated with Clinton and Cincinnati, does it not?

And yet, its input came from you, no? It may not be the software that is fascinated with the people and places of darkness...
Nov. 19th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
I swear I was just laughing uncontrollably. Every time I saw Clinton or Cincinnati come up, I laughed even harder.

Why is Cincinnati a "place of darkness"? I think I missed a memo. I thought Toledo and New Jersey were the only ones. :)

Lest you worry too much: not only am I not a large fan of Hilary Clinton, my vote won't matter in the next presidential election, anyway, unless I do vote Republican (which I have done in at least three presidential elections since I was old enough to vote). Georgia is so overwhelmingly red that my measly vote for whatever blue candidate is currently at the top of the hit list will go entirely unremarked. So relax. :)
Nov. 19th, 2007 08:52 pm (UTC)
Why is Cincinnati a "place of darkness"? I think I missed a memo. I thought Toledo and New Jersey were the only ones. :)

Dude...have you ever been to Ohio? Without exception, every place I've been to in the state (Cleveland, Columbus, Toledo, Cincinnati, Dayton) has been dreary and depressing. It's as good a place of darkness as I've ever been to.

So relax. :)

Heh. Contrary to the impression that might be made by the rantings and ravings on my own journal, I don't actually spend a lot of time worrying about which politicians my friends may or may not be interested in. And I don't normally try to start partisan flamewars in the journals of other people, so feel free to ignore me when I do mention a candidate, and don't feel obligated to explain your political preferences. It's not important unless you think it is...and as you said, it just doesn't matter anyway.

Still, you might want to have a chat with your subconscious....Clinton and Cincinnati? *shudder*

Nov. 19th, 2007 09:00 pm (UTC)
I've been to Ohio. For the wedding of the_peej and binkiegirl. I found the part of it that I saw to be quite beautiful. :)

I thought maybe Cincinnati had something associated with it like The Dover Trial or The Kent State Shootings or Columbine, and that I just hadn't heard.

My subconscious and I chat quite enough, I think. Have you seen my inner cast? :)

Hmmm. Clinton + Cincinnati = Clintonnati? That looks surprisingly like Illuminati.

Nov. 19th, 2007 09:04 pm (UTC)
I found the part of it that I saw to be quite beautiful. :)

Now that you've reminded me, I was unfair. There are parts of Ohio that *are* quite attractive; I spent some time in the rural areas along the Ohio River east of Cincinnati that were very pleasant. Maybe it's just every city in Ohio that is depressing.
Nov. 19th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
I was being...not exactly sarcastic. I saw the airport, the roads on the way from/to the hotel, and about a block of downtown Columbus(?) around the hotel. The wedding was beautiful.

Oh! I did see the Ohio River piece that borders West Virginia. My grandfather worked on a dam on the Ohio River in the 70's. Pretty country if you don't mind !flat.

Scary as hell if you're in the back of a pickup truck driven by an older man who likes to hug the center line going too fast down twisty mountain roads. *shudder*
( 7 hisses — Hiss at me! )

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